My Campaign platform for 2028

Whenever I read something that a politician has said, or, try and watch a debate, I can't help but think I could run for president.  Whether it's intolerant bullshit, or too polished to be trusted appearances, I'd give them a run for their money.  Yes, I'm worried what kind of dirt will be dug up, but, it's just all the more reason that I would be qualified.  

In the immortal words of Chris Rock, circa 2004, "I got some shit I'm conservative about, I got some shit I'm liberal about..."

Domestic Platform:

  • Golf would only be legal in the Dakotas.  

  • All inhabitants (undocumented or otherwise) of the US would be required to learn to dance.  

  • All Americans would be required to learn about 2 major religions, and this would be optional.

  • If one chooses not to take these classes that would automatically mean a self-declaration of atheist.
  • Prostitution; legal

  • Drugs; legal

  • Each state would be required to have a community garden for every 10,000 inhabitants

  • All able bodied people would be required to learn to hunt, fish and shoot

  • All able bodied people would be required to train in either Brasilian jiu-jitsu or crossfit/HIIT type workouts

  • All Americans would have a minimum 2 year military commitment

  • Racism, sexism and homophobia would be legal as long as you can prove your white, black, Latino, Asian, women and gay friends friends laugh at that shit

  • Wall street, gone

  • Republicans, Democrats, gone

  • Economic Democracy would be instituted.  Look for the Philosophy playlist and the David Schweickwart episode here.

  • Peer review boards will be set up in every city with over 5000 inhabitants to hear complaints

  • The price of bullets for the private sector would be $5000 per bullet

  • The number of guns allowable would be no more than 5 per household

  • Privatizing public services would become far more difficult.  

  • Every police officer in the country would be required to wear body cameras.  

  • Each state would be required to indefinitely store ALL video and audio in a central location.  Each state would be required to replicate that video into the federal oversight facility for indefinite storage.  
    • Consider that over the course of the last 3 years we’ve seen how video has changed the narrative of police shootings and conduct.  When you compare police officer statements in the shootings of Walter Scott and Laquan Mcdonald with what the cell phone and dashboard cameras showed, cameras change the game.  
  • Cities all over the United States, like my home city, Chicago, embrace the use of cameras to catch red light runners, speeders and general surveillance.  Ask any Chicago resident who knows its neighborhoods and we know what the blue light cameras mean.  
  • It should be our duty to enable high standards within the ranks, and make them more accountable.
  • All undocumented peoples would be given the opportunity to self-identify.  That would then require them to enter into the standard matriculation process.  If after 2 years people still have not self-identified we would proceed to deport those who haven’t self-identified

  • Getting into the United States would be like getting into a Vegas club.

  • You either need:  a high level contact, a shit ton of money (that would still require a high level contact), or males would need to bring in a lot of females while women would need to bring in a lot of males

Foreign Policy Platform

  • We would go into dialog with everyone.  I cite this article as proof of it’s potential The Guardian.  
  • To hedge our offensive and defensive capabilities we would bolster our Special Operator units through high school and into college.  In other words ROTC would be a feeder into the SeALS, Rangers etc...

  • System Integrators would be re-purposed, ex. Bechtel, Raytheon and Halliburton to re-build places like Newark, Detroit and Chicago.  These are companies that receive billions of dollars in no bid contracts to “rebuild” places in Afghanistan and Iraq, except that’s not really happening.  Instead, they built a $43 million gas station being built with no accounting for that money.  See this article for details
  • Chicago Fire will be the new national soap opera

  • The Catholic church would be disbanded in the US

  • The use of memes to articulate your thoughts would be illegal

  • The CIA would be revamped and re-purposed back to it’s original purpose of simply intelligence gathering.

  • If you disagree, read CIA:  Legacy of Ashes and it’s ineptitude throughout it’s history will floor you.
  • The goal would be to cut military aid would by 25%, after 3 years of review and than re-evaluate for further cuts every election year thereafter and that money reallocated to fight famine and civil strife in the US, Africa, MX and S Africa.

  • If you disagree look at any GAO findings associated with Federal government largesse.
  • Israel would be required to be at the table to negotiate with Palestine, or, we would begin cutting funding every year until it’s all gone

  • Guantanamo bay would be gone

  • We would formally acknowledge CIA black sites

  • Good Body armor for all soldiers

  • Drone attacks would be discontinued

There it is.  Vote, Gabe Perez in 2028.